No I can't 2
by vaunie5962
Summary: My first fic, my first English translation from my favourite slash couple. What happens when one of them decides to change some things in 513? Find out! NC-17 in the last chapters!
1. Chapter 1

"_We would like to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal dinner!"_

"_However, it's nothing to rehearse: the wedding is over."_

I'm looking at all our friends, my- our- family laughing at us, all believing it was a bad, very bad joke. Even me, I want to do it but no, no I can't, not now he has a great career in front of him, than he has to leave for NY, the Big Apple for living his life, with or without me.

So, I let him finish for us: "_No it's true, we decided to not getting married!_"

Suddenly, everything fell silent in the room, and Justin, my Sunshine, gives me his -so- special smile a little tense like telling me "_That's it, wasn't hard at all, was it?"_

But all inside me, I don't want, I can't: I know right now that I can't live without him so far from me, the only one man on this earth I truly love with all my heart and will never be replace. I know this. And I can't get out of my head the idea he will met someone else, someone who would offer him everything he asked me for years, someone he will fall... No I can't tell myself that, he loves me and I know this perfectly. However, it will be totally selfish from me to ask him to choose between NY and me. At this moment, my throat is really tight and it takes all my strenght to not... No I have to do or to tell something immediately.

Totally lost in my thoughts, I half hear Debbie's joke about this... What? I don't know. The others laugh with her, discretely but a little embarassed. And Justin, my lovely Sunshine, explains why we decided to cancel it. Listening to him, I realise now these reasons are totally ridiculous, more than Debbie's gift, you see my point?

I am watching him, his so wonderful smile I can't resist to, on his beautiful lips and face, his words I'm listening half to. My only thought at this moment "Fuck, I'm gonna miss him so much!". And I can't get myself to stop watching him so I lean back a little for observing his backside which is irresistible to me, his perfect ass, his little legs incredible, thin and muscled, his back which I love to kiss senseless when I take him from behind, his neck so cute I couldn't resist to kiss when we made love for the real first time some years ago, his blond hair I adore stroking when I smother his mouth with kisses... and yes definitely this smile I fell in love at first sight when I saw it five years ago, this one which valued his famous nickname. And these eyes, so blue, so profound I could lose myself... No stop it Brian, stop it right now. If not, you're going to...

"Isn't it, Brian?"

I'm startled by Justin's question, didn't see him talking to me. My only answer at the moment is a pathetic "Hein? Quoi?" (_sorry I let this french expression in this chapter because this one is really famous in France and come from my birth region, the North :-))_. Really good Brian, totally pathetic, you don't even listen to your fiance. Good play!

He raises his eyebrows with a worried face, seeing that I didn't listen to him.

"That we decided it will be better for the both of us you take your old life back and that I have to become the best artist of my generation in NY, didn't we?"

The worried look and the voice tone he used froze me in place. Right now, I still don't know what I want, what to say. If I have to take a define decision, it's now or never, Sunshine won't wait for it.

"Brian?"

"No!" it's the only word I can pronunciate.

"No what?" and now he is more worried than before.

Realising the gestures are always the best in our relationship (did I say that? What a lesbionic I am!), I don't hesitate: I put an arm around his waist, turn him around completely and I take his lips in a passionate kiss...

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

at and our tongues are dueling endlessely, without control from my part, savouring and testing each corners of his delicious and beautiful mouth.

Someone clearing his throat behind us call us back to reality, and "our" family is looking at us with wide eyes but a little smile on their faces for some when I draw my eyes on them. Breaking the kiss reluctantly, gasping a little for air, I kiss him one last time tenderly, taking his face between my hands, almost forehead against forehead but I want to look at him when I am doing this speech especially for him, for him seeing all the sincerity of my words and murmuring especially for him:

"_Realising the gestures are always the best in our relationship (did I just say that? What a lesbionic I am now!), I don't hesitate: I put an arm around his waist, turn him around completely and take his lips in a passionate kiss..."_

Justin, totally astonished, froze under my kiss. But when my tongue request an entrance to his mouth, swiping across his lower lip, he finally understands the message and begins to kiss back, opening his mouth and responds as hungrily as I do, putting his hands on my back and bringing me closer to him. I slide my organ in his thro

"No, it's not an unanimous choice, no it's not really something we decide for the both of us because you were the one reluctant to cuddle, not me. Really! (when I see his wide eyes). I can't keep you to leave but you have to know you still can make an ultimate choice for us. No don't interrupt me (when he tries to say something), I have to say it now. You know my heart is and will always be all yours, but if you really want to go in NY, go, I won't keep you. But I want you to take it."

Discreetly, I deposit in his right hand (I see it' shivering more than I can remember), a little velvet box I kept in my jacket (just in case). Before he could really react, I take his chin in my fingers and give him a long, tender and sweet kiss on his (gorgeous) lips without making it deeper this time.

Leaving his arms, I direct myself towards the exit, without a word, not looking behind me when I close the door, knowing I left a family totally lost and a Justin... Oh, I don't really know right now.

I just hope you will make the right choice, Sunshine...

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

_A month later:_

Luxuriating myself in my shower, I find it however difficult to not think about him. It's automatic: every rooms, every objects, so everything reminds me of him. His body, his hairs, his eyes, his hands and more than everything his unique smile. It's nothing to do, I can't think about something else. Even when I drink, even when I smoke, even when I work at Kinnetic, I can't help myself. I miss him terribly, more than I could imagine.

Three weeks since he left for NY, for becoming the greatest artist of the new generation in the Big Apple, letting me alone for directing my agency and the rebuilding of Babylon. Because yes, after his departure, and a lot of insistence from Mikey, I finally decide to open it again, for showing the world than what doesn't kill us make us stronger. I want to say the same with Justin.

Our last night together in the loft was the most incredible I ever lived: all night long, eyes in eyes, in every position and on every surface possible. We didn't have sex, no we made love as never before. I even let him be the top, that proves I really changed since I met him. I so wanted to feel him in me one last time before being separated, remind me each time how gentle, tender and loving he was with me. That he will be always a part of me.

So he left one week after the rehearsal diner. I didn't wake up when he did. I know if I did I couldn't let him go. But it's not what we wanted, I had to let him leave.

Some exchanged mails, one or two call phone can't fill in the absence. I work a lot more at Kinnetic but rarely at the loft where I can't concentrate properly. I miss him so, so much.

I don't go out, even with my friends, nothing and nobody can make me enjoy life without Sunshine.

Only my "family" helped me for some comfort and make pass the time, trying to resist to this maximal desire to go in NY for being with him. Only a few hours for touching, smothering, kissing or making love to him to the point of exhaustion.

But as I said, he made his choice, I made mine and if he wants to come back, I will be there but he has to make the first step.

I really hope not too late because I have some things to do and to tell him.

Completely absorbed in my thoughts, I don't hear the door opening and closing with a little airstream.

"I didn't wait you this soon, Darling!"

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Here it comes the next part, as soon as I could update it.

Enjoy and please review!

"_Completely absorbed in my thoughts, I don't hear the door opening and closing with a little airstream!_

_"I didn't wait you this soon, Darling!"_

I'm the first to break the silence when I feel sweet and tender hands snaking around my waist, sticking to me closer. My shoulder blades and my neck are tenderly kissed.

"I know, Darling, but I wanted to make you a surprise.", without removing his hands, " I missed you!". I can feel a real hard on rubbing up against my ass cheeks.

"I feel it!". At this point, I can't resist a chuckle escaping my lips, soon joined by the other one. I moan in appreciation when I feel his perfect dick sliding against my skin and I push my back still closer to his chest.

" And you, did you miss me?"

I turn around for being face to face with him, my hard on totally obvious in front of his eyes sparkling with lust and love. Oh yeah, I missed you. And now, he is right here in front of me, his smile lighting up the shower, almost blinding, his hairs sticking to his face by the water. More beautiful than ever.

And at this moment, I can't take it anymore. I take his face in my hands, caressing his hot cheeks due to the water (or the heat of this moment? I'll take this one...) and take his lips passionately. The access of my tongue to his mouth is granted immediately, and we fight for dominance, caressing each other mouths restlessely, taking possession of tastes and savours of the other one. Even there, I can't get enough of him but tonight, I want to take all my time with him.

So reluctantly, we break apart, but forehead to forehead, chest against chest, hard on to hard on, and almost mouth to mouth, both breathing really heavily. I put my lips on his neck, savouring what is definitely mine slowly and tenderly. And I break apart a little again, and whisper to him, looking into his gorgeous blue eyes:

"You'll never know how much, my gorgeous Sunshine. And now, what if I show you how much instead of speaking?" with my tongue in cheek smile.

And definitely, if I thought his smile couldn't be more blinding, I was wrong. Impatient to see the second part of the night happening, I lifted him up bridal style and direct us to the bedroom.

However, we are newly weds so I have all rights.

Our matching rings is the definite proof.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

_Flashback:_

I walk quietly out of the room, without turning around once. It wasn't necessary coz' no one calls my name at this moment, no one to see or confort me when I'm the most afraid of my life: I'm scared to have lost my Sunshine right now.

I don't really know how he's going to react. But his silence and lack of reaction isn't something I think good. Frustrated and a little disappointed, I return to my car without a sign to the doorman who tells me "Goodnight Mr Kinney!", and certainly not the carman who brings my Corvette. I know if I did, I'm gonna crying, but, for everyone, I'm still Brian fucking Kinney, the man who is unable to be the man my Sunshine wants. So I'm not gonna crying, not now.

So I take place in my car, rub my tired eyes and come back to the loft.

It's only when I look in my retro than I see some blond hairs watching in my directions, in the middle of the street.

I can't take it anymore and I do the last thing everyone could think I would: I let my tears fall repeateadly on my face, listening to this song which changed our lives forever...

_POV Justin:_

No sound, no gesture, nothing: I can't help doing... nothing when he left. I'm so surprised I don't know what to do. It's just the most beautiful declaration of love a man can do. The second one for him. Yeah, I still can't believe it: Brian fucking Kinney just asked me to stay in Pittsburg, with him and by the most beautiful way. I'm still under the shock.

What to do? What to do right now?

I turn around, finding myself facing my family, who look exactly like me at this moment. My mother, Daphne and Debbie are the only ones to wear a gigantic smile on their faces.

One last look to the box before I decide to open it in front of everybody.

What the fuck? It's really only one ring inside: mine. So he really wants it, it's not only for me, he loves me more than everything. Is it...

YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes I want to marry him, and no I can't leave him. I can't, I can't...

And fuck, what I'm still doing here?

"So what are you waiting for, you asshole?"

Troubled, I didn't realise I said it outloud. Debbie is the one who talked and... AOUCH! I won a great slap on the back of my head. Great, now I really have to go.

"Thanks! "is the first and only word I can say before running outside, for joining the man of my life before he leaves.

And ! Breathlessly, in the middle of the street, I only can see his car leaving really fast the place. Double F..."


	6. Chapter 6

"_And ! Breathlessly, in the middle of the street, I only can see the car leaving really fast the place. Double F..."_

POV Brian:

I park my car as usual, in front of my appartement. Without waiting, I leave it and take the lift for my loft. My fucking god, how empty is gonna be when he'll leave. And here we come, still the same question: how is he gonna react? Will he give me a last chance? I know, I don't deserve it but however, I did my best to get to his heart.

What does he want more? A house? Already bought. A child? I'm still not ready for this and I want to wait a little but I know that definitely it'll be a little sister or brother for Gus. No more tricks and a real monogamous relationship? Yes I think so. I'm ready for everything with him. Because I know right here, right now, than the only one I will ever love is my Sunshine and nothing's gonna change this fact. Oh fuck! I really, really, really don't want him to go.

So what? WHAT? WHAT? My face is definitely covered in tears now. Oh shit, this is my real drug, I never would get enough of him: I love him, love him, love him...

Suddenly, I hear the door opening and closing not quietly. Trying to wipe the renmants of tears on my face, I turn around for welcoming my visitor.

And yes, here he is, in the same state than mine but an intact smile, not leaving my eyes during ten seconds. Not knowing what to say, like the first time, I open my arms for him.

In no time, my arms were invaded by a blond mass, his arms and legs around my body, and delicious wet lips demanding access to my mouth. Smiling and crying, I clutch him stronger against me and grant him the access, only breaking apart for saying and repeating "I love you, I love you so much!"

And on his left hand, here it is: the ring I offered him, matching mine.

Letting him sliding to the floor on his feet, I begin to softly divest him, directing us towards the couch.

"You know it's forever what you asked me, Brian?"

"I know, no need to repeat it, Baby." Our shirts fly threw the room.

"So, no turning back?" with his bright smile. (Little twat... But all mine!)

"No turning back? And your career in NY?"

"Oh don't worry... OMG... I already contacted someone who works in a big one and is interested by my work... HUM Please don't stop baby... She wants to see me next week for showing her my work... OH FUCK!"

"One week? But the wedding is..." I'm cut off by a passionate kiss, as one of his hands is finding his way in my boxer shorts. I groan outloud of this great pleasure, almost exploding when he begins to stroke me.

"Don't worry about it, I become Mr Taylor-Kinney or... Oh so good, don't stop..." when I return the same pleasure he is giving me. "Or Mr Kinney(kiss) what do you (kiss) prefer (long kiss)?"

"It doesn't matter, all I want is you and only you. The others? I don't care. So after our wedding?" Our pants and boxers find their way to the floor too, letting appear our obvious hard-on.

"She wants me for 3 weeks there, I already find a place to stay thanks to one of Daph's friend and after three days a month for showing my work's evolution to her until... AHHHHHHHHHH... The. E.X.P.O.S.I.T.."

"Really good decision. So you had all anticipated?"

"Yes I wnated to make you a surprise, but I wanted to be an 100% sure. When we decided to cancel the wedding, I feel you turning around again again when you thought I was asleep and I knew you didn't want to cancel it. But I wanted to wait for you to make the right decision for us. HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMM. So I took good care of things, I can say." his hand still stroking my erection before I put on a condom.

"So that's it? We are doing it?"

"Yes, Brian. We are gonna getting married."

"Really good. So what are we waiting for to celebrate it?" Hystericals laughs come out of our mouths soon stopped by moans of pleasure when I slide my cock in his beautiful hole.

"I think so...(kiss) I(kiss) love(kiss) you (kiss again)"

"Love you too Sunshine!" are our last words for the night.

THE END?


	7. Chapter 7

_Back to present:_

_POV Justin:_

And here we are, today, one month after our final decision, three weeks after officialy exchanging our vows, in front of our family and friends. I came back from NY, and my encounter with the galery's manager was great and my first expo in 7 months. I can't wait.

But right now, the only thing I want is to appreciate my first quiet night with my husband, the man I love more than anything in this world. And I couldn't be happier. Oh my god, I missed him so much! Three weeks and I can't take it anymore, imagine what it would be for a longest time?

Nobody and nothing to disturb us, I made sure of that. Once we are out of the shower, always in his arms, Brian put me down in the center of our bed, so gently, the one which was a part of all our first times. In his eyes, I can see everything which don't need words: lust, desire and most of all, love.

I look around me. I'm totally stunned by what I see: petal roses are all over the floor. Dozen candles wait to be light, as the glasses to be filled by champagne, raspberries to be eaten, and a CD is played by Brian. Some slow songs for the night mood.

Brian leaving the room for two minutes, I am alone and still stunned by all the preparing he made. For someone who didn't wait for me this soon, it's just so amazing.

He comes back in the bedroom with a bottle and a lighter and I find him more gorgeous and smiling than ever. How can I love this man! Before joining me, he lights some of the candles and fills the glasses with the champagne.

We are degusting the delicious liquid eyes in eyes, giving to each other the fruits to eat, licking and biting a little the fingers in the same time. We can say it right now, this night is gonna be "ridiculously romantic" (_yeah, I put it :-))_

Once the glasses are finished, he takes mine from my hand and put it on the bedside table. Turning around, he looks at me intensely and stick some of my hairs behind my ears. And the kissing begins. First really tender and gentle, just lips against lips until I open my mouth for granting him access with his tongue. Sensually, they entwine with the other. And become more and more passionate as our arousals are still well here. He kisses me as never before, breaking apart only seconds for filling our lungs and begin again. During it, he lies me down totally on the matress but this time, when we break apart, the serious things begin.

Making a mark in my neck first, taking my left ear lobe between his lips and biting a little with his teeth and the other one, following the way to my shoulders and sliding down to my nipples. He takes one delicately between his teeth without forgetting the tongue. Sucking, licking, biting until they are really hard... Oh my God, I like it so much and he does it so good!

The one done, he passes to the other. Then he lowers his mouth towards my belly where he takes my bellybutton as my hole: tongue-fucking it. It sends big shivers all along my back. My erection begins to leak profusely.

After that, his lips access to my dick, but there, surprisingly, no blowjob: "I want you to cum with me inside of you." he tells me seductively connecting his eyes with mine. But it doesn't stop him to kiss and lick a little the head of my sex.

When he decides to take care of my balls, biting it tenderly and sensually, I knew this delicious and exquisite torture will lead to my favourite part but right now, he just wants to take his time, and I don't tell him to stop. This is so fabulous.

So slowly, he places himself properly in front of my legs, lifts them up a little and spread them, for obtaining access to his favourite place: rotating it with his tongue, he has great pleasure to lick my pucker and my thighs before the best: a rimming I will never forget. His hot and wet tongue enters me slowly, in and out of my hole repeateadly and deposing a kiss each time to my entrance. He puts so much love and tenderness that I'm totally extatic and his name escapes my lips more than once. And when he speeds up his movements, I find myself in heaven. I've never felt this cherished or loved than at this moment. Better than the first time, naturally. And I really think Brian loves it more than a blowjob.

Feeling my balls tightening and my breathing faster, I caress his hairs for signaling him that I'm really, really close. He stops and lets slide his lips on my body until he finds mine for a hungry and loving kiss. I can taste my own essence and I have to recognize mine and his mixed are really great.

Without noticing, I feel a first digit inside me. I cry out in pleasure while he does some slow back and forth in my body. I can't stand it, three weeks it's so long. Then taking wildly possession of his mouth, I tell him breathlessly:

" Fuck, baby, hurry up. I can't stand it anymore. Oh god... More baby, more..."

"My pleasure, honey!" without looking away from me. A little more lube and he inserts the second one, scissoring them for preparing me well, sticking them into me until:

"OOOHHHHHH!" when he brushes my prostate. "More, more, MMMMMOOOORRRREEEE baby!"

The third and final is inserted faster and when he takes his digits away from me, the missing is immediate.

This is when stands up a little to make the last preparings than I see something else.

OH MY GOODDD!

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

_Here is my last chapter!_

_Enjoy and please, please, please, review!_

_That's my first slash fanfiction and also my first translation so I really need to know what you thought?_

_"This is when he stands up a little to make his last preparings than I see something else! OOOOOHHHHH MMMMMMYYYYYY GGGGGOOOODDDDD!"_

Carefully, he comes to position himself in front of my entrance, his eyes black with lust and I can't wait longer for our first exchange of the night.

When he is fully lenght with me and his dick is slowly breaching my hole, this is when I decide to ask the question which burn my lips, even if I totally enjoy this moment:

"Brian, don't you forget something baby?"

"I don't think so, Love." with his tongue in cheek smile. Again, OOOHHH MMMYYY GGGOOODDD"

_POV Brian:_

Oh yeah, so good to see his first reaction. As unbelievable as it seems, yes I decided it, definitely: I want a monogamous relationship and the first step to make him believe it: sex without condoms. His eyes are totally wide in astonishement and for one second, I think his tears are bad news. But I soon realise than it's tears of joy.

Almost three years after our famous discuss, we're going to discover so much other things right now by this changing. And I expect to keep it like that until the end of my life (yeah, I know: definitely lesbionic.)

"Are you really sure, Brian?"

"Have you already seen me doing something I don't want?" He nods and I swear than his smile can be brighter than now. As beautiful as our wedding's day.

"So, here we go!" and without waiting, I penetrate him slowly, savouring each new feelings, new effects this moment brings to us.

"Oh my god!"

"Oh yes, come on! This is really so good! More, I want you all!"

"Why... do... we... wait... so... long... for... this?"

It was incredible. The sentence "being in the seventh heaven" was totally appropriate.

Without stopping to devour his gorgeous mouth, I slide back and forth in him without strenght. I don't want it to end so soon. I want to savour each second. This unic moment where I do him mine forever. Feeling my erection still growing, Justin asks me to go a little faster. Which I do with great pleasure. I take him as never, with a passion and a fever uncontrolled reinforced by this incredible heat I feel all around my cock, this well-being to be skin against skin, with no bareer. "MINE!" I repeat to myself no-stop and kissing him feverishly, passionately. Oh I love it so much! I love him so much!

"Brian! Brian! Oh YES, I'm cumming!"

"Cum for me, Baby, cum for me, I'm behind you!"

"!"

"OOOOHHHHYYYYEEEESSSSSS!"

"..."

"Oh yes, I love you too JJJUSSSSTTTTIIIINNNN!"

Totally spent by this great orgasm, I let myself fall on him when he slackens his legs around my waist. It was... Only one word. UNIC!

I slide out of him and put myself on my back. Sated and full of joy, I can't do or say something else immediately.

".God! .!"

"INCREDIBLE!" kissing the sweet corner of his mouth.

I see some stars behind my eyes and I don't want them to disappear because I'm at the top of the world and I still can't believe it.

Me, Brian fucking Kinney, the greatest fucker Pittsburg never knows, the one who didn't believe in love and refused every commitment still one year ago. Yes, the one and only who is now married and had unsafe sex with this little twat, this little stalker, this man... Gorgeous( and yeah, again, a lesbionic sentence, I have to stop now!) Who could tell me this one year ago? Who could convince me just before Babylon's bomb? Nobody. But I can be happier than now.

Nobody apart the one who stole my heart five years ago and a part of my soul. The one I'm ready to sacrifice everything for. And sacrifices I already made. "No apologies, no regrets!" This quote is really for me today!" Because I know I can't live without my favourite asshole anymore! (Yes, I'm not a complete lesbian!)

"I love you, Brian!"

"Idem!" (_a quote from my favourite romantic movie Ghost! This word is used for the French spectators!)_

And we fall asleep like that, untangled into each other, tenderly caressing our skins. This is where I want to spend every night of my life. In his arms. And we wake up some hours later for beginning again, restlessely in every position, every corner of the loft and taking turns to the top. Until we fall asleep totally sated (which happens rarely with us!)

I really made the good choice to look under this streelamp this night...

THE END...


End file.
